Children Desiring God Break-out Session 1
Mobilizing Men for Ministry to Children
David Michael
One of my passions is to see men involved in children’s ministry.
Bethlehem Baptist statistics:
Our congregation is 30% male and 60% female. Our nursery has 18% male workers. Our kindergarten—2nd grade group has 34% male workers. By 5th grade, our classes are approximately 50/50. 43% of our teachers are male. 23% of our team leaders are male. This is more of an administrative role, and men seem to be less detail oriented. Of our male staff, 19% are single, 69% are married, and 57% have children of their own.
Why mobilize men?
(1) Because men need to obey the Word as much as women do.
(2) Because our sons and daughters need the benefit of seeing biblical masculinity up close.
“The most important institutions of moral instruction—the family, the church, and the school, are failing to turn out responsible young men”—Al Mohler
Our boys are missing the incentives that they once had to rise up and be like men.
Our boys are missing training. Our men do not fully understand what it means to be a biblical man and pass this on to their children.
Our boys are missing a biblical vision of true masculinity. “As young men, sometimes all we need is a picture of what we could become”—Eric Ludy
Effective ministry to children and youth is effective ministry to men.
(3) Because our children need to understand that Christian affection is for men as well as women. This is why we encourage our men to bring their children into our adult services… so that they will see men embracing God with affection. Young boys need to see that they can do this. Young girls need to desire men who engage with God.
(4) Men are called to be spiritual leaders in the home and in the church. Boys and girls need to witness men leading in the home and in the church. Men who are effective in the home will be effective in our Sunday Schools. Men who learn to be effective in the Sunday Schools will be encouraged and equipped to lead in their homes.
Why are men reluctant?
(1) Stereotypes:
Q: Currently the number of women involved in ministry to children out number men more than 2-1. In your opinion what is the reason for this?
“Children’s ministry is perceived as more fitting for women than for men.”
“Working with children does not seem like manly work.”
“Working with children is not perceived as real ministry but as babysitting.”
Over time, the cultural assumption has been that men are not equipped for early childhood work and ministry.
(2) Lack of Confidence. Men feel spiritually incompetent to teach their children, much less lead others’ children. Men feel less confident in their faith, and they feel less able to teach the next generation.
(3) Dominant Female Presence in the Leadership of the Ministry
“One important aspect of ministry is the fellowship we have serving with others. For me, this happens best when there are other men to relate to. When I volunteer for the nursery, I just don’t feel at home.”
(4) Time
“Men generally have more time commitments; committing to a weekly endeavor would push them over the edge.”
(5) Trust
Administrators see a legal liability with men, and there is higher parental concern that their children will be abused. Men feel this to some degree.
(6) Low Status
This doesn’t seem like leadership.
How do we mobilize men?
(1) Pray. Secure the aid of Omnipotence. “Your business is to train mortals for earth, and immortal beings for God, heaven and eternity… By believing prayer, secure the aid of Omnipotence”—John Angell James. Isaiah 31:1; Psalm 116:2
(2) Call men to pursue a great challenge.
“Many men respond to big hairy audacious goals. I don’t know what that would be, but many men like a good challenge.”—Bethlehem Baptist volunteers
(3) Call men to pursue a great cause—Join us to raise a generation of boys that will act like men and not a generation that will be wimps and barbarians. Call them to be strong and courageous Ephesians 6 men. Men and boys will respond when we call them to take up their cross.
“I can tell my 3rd grade guys to look up to me and I get to see their growth every Sunday. It’s a challenge for me and I’m learning what kind of father I might be if I have kids someday.” “I have been able to be a part of 3 young men coming to Christ. This has by far been the most satisfying aspect of the ministry.” “I am excited about Bethlehem’s vision for the next generation and I want to be a part of it.”—Bethlehem Baptist volunteers.
(4) Impress on men their unique qualifications. Men have something to give that women cannot, namely their manhood. See John Angel James’ Addresses to Young Men.
(5) Invite them.
(6) Invest in male leadership. Bethlehem invested in a pastoral position.
“Men need other men to inspire them, motivate them, and hold them accountable. There are just some issues that only a group of good men can defeat. Just like there are some things you don’t do alone in life such as swim in the ocean or climb a mountain, men should not go through life alone either. Men need other men.”—Rich Johnson
(7) Feed them! Both physically (have donuts) and satisfy their hunger to learn and to benefit from ministry, that is, satisfy their Godly desires.
“This might seem like a strange ‘encouragement’, but I would tell them that it is HARD. This takes time, effort, and energy. You WILL become a stronger believer through this. Your faith WILL grow.” “I love that I benefit as much as the kids. If you want to learn something, teach it.”—Bethlehem volunteers
Good words and very helpful suggestions. I have taught preschoolers and kindergartners for many years. Your points about why men don’t serve are right on target. Many men feel a lack of trust from parents and female leaders when they enter a children’s classroom (especially in the preschool ages). And being the only man in a group of women can make him feel alone and out-of-place. Thanks for your suggestions on how to mobilize men. You gave some practical (and doable) ideas.
Scott, I’ll pass on your thanks to David. It was a very good session. I think the audio of this breakout session was recorded as well. I’ll try to link to it later this week.
Thanks for this article. We are constantly trying to recruit and empower more men in kids ministry. Yet the funny thing is the BEST preschool leaders I have ever had are men. For some reason it’s just so much more natural for a man to get on the kids level, on the ground to play with the kids and really be present for them. That’s what kids need – God demonstrated to them through love and time.
Thanks for your great ideas to help us all achieve this worthy endeavor.
Cathy, thanks for your encouragement. The session was a challenge to me as well.
While I sat in the session, I thought about my dad, who taught a Jr. High Bible study on Joshua, and Teddy Hardeman, a Congregational Christian pastor who taught 3rd-4th grade boys about the life of David at Camp Eunice in middle Georgia. These are some of my best (and MOST MEMORABLE) childhood memories. There is just something RIGHT about men teaching young girls and boys the stories of God’s holy war for Israel’s salvation.
Sojourn men, this is a call to bring it with our kids!