The Psalms – A Biblical Guide to Worshiping God

We live in a culture that celebrates self-expression.   Reality TV shows are constantly squirreling contestants aside to ask what they think about others on the show. On talk shows, people expose their greatest personal and relational struggles.  Society encourages us to say how we feel without any filter for our sin or reference to the God who made and sustains us.  In the Psalms we find raw honesty – expressions of immense sadness, anger, joy, anxiety, etc.  The Psalms give expression to the full range of human emotions, but they do so always with reference to the God who made us and stands as Judge and Savior above us.  How do we worship God when others have wronged us?  The Psalms instruct us every conceivable situation as to how we should express our thoughts to our loving heavenly Father and ultimately how to worship him through all situations in life.

Suggestions for Incorporating the Psalms into Family Devotions

• Over the course of this month, have everyone in the family memorize the same Psalm (suggestion: Psalm 19).  Then, when the family takes a walk or is in the car together, take turns reciting parts of the psalm.
• Read a psalm or part of a psalm together at a family meal or before bed time.  If you read roughly one psalm per day, you will read through the book of Psalms twice per year.
• If your children are facing particular struggles, find a psalm that teaches them how to express their emotions in a God-honoring way.
• In family prayer time, read a psalm slowly verse by verse.  Pause after each verse to allow family members to express the ideas in their own words and apply them to their own situations.
• If you have a musically gifted member of the family, invite that person to make up an original melody to a psalm or portion of a psalm.
• Have the whole family draw pictures that illustrate some of the images or metaphors found in a psalm.
• For older children – have a “scavenger hunt” through the Psalms.  Everyone is required to find five types of psalms: (1) A psalm that praises God, (2) A psalm that expresses sadness, (3) A psalm that mentions the King, (4) A psalm that expresses repentance, and (5) A psalm that expresses thanksgiving.

Proverbs has much to say about raising children skillfully, and this was the topic of this past Sunday’s sermon at Sojourn.  Though this message is about parenting, it isn’t just for parents.  Raising children is all about passing on wisdom – and we all need more wisdom so the principles are definitely universal. Listen in as Pastor Daniel Montgomery explores raising children according to the Scriptures – why we discipline our kids, how we discipline our kids, and 5 key lessons all kids (and all people) must learn to live skillfully.  Grab the notes here.

Anthony Selvaggio. A Proverbs Driven Life: Timeless Wisdom for Your Words, Work, Wealth, and Relationships, “Chapter 12, Still Sinners, A Parents’ Need for the Grace of God.” (Shepherd Press, 2008)

In Proverbs, “discipline” means education and training in a broad sense.  Moreover, Proverbs does not prescribe one single method of discipline but an array of methods (179-80).  In his second chapter on parenting, Selvaggio looks at two broad categories–verbal discipline and corporal discipline:

Speak the Truth in Love: Verbal Discipline

While corporal discipline can be justified in the book of Proverbs,  the overwhelming biblical emphasis is on training children by speaking to them.  “In fact, Proverbs teaches that parents should seek to become so effective at verbal discipline that corporal discipline eventually becomes unnecessary” (180).  Verbal discipline involves encouragements and warnings.

Encourage Good Behavior

Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom.  Though it cost all you have, get understanding.  Esteem her, and she will exalt you; embrace her, and she will honor you.  Proverbs 4:7-8

A primary method of discipline throughout Scripture is verbal encouragement that explains to children the benefits of pursuing what is good.  Parents should express verbal incentives in language that a particular child can understand.  In Proverbs 4, the father calls on his adolescent son, who is obviously interested in the opposite sex, “to embrace wisdom as he would a beautiful and godly wife, urging him to see that this will bring him honor in the community” (181).  Effective parents tailor incentives to the unique interests and desires of their particular children.

Discourage Bad Behavior

My son, if sinners entice you, do not give in to them.  Proverbs 1:10

The wise man also takes time to explain the consequences of disobedience.  “Verbal discouragement of bad behavior involves both warning and explanation, exposing the sin for what it is…  A boy of seven playing with matches should be told not to do so, but he must also be shown the destruction that can result.  A girl of thirteen flirting with pre-marital sex should be told to stop, but she should also be informed about the painful consequences  of sexually transmitted diseases, the burdens of teenage pregnancy, and the benefits of abstinence prior to marriage that would be forfeited” (184).

Speak Purposefully

Better is open rebuke than hidden love.  Proverbs 27:5

“The words of discipline we speak to our children need to be clear, true, and loving.  Those words that encourage godly behavior must be full of the joy and promise of God’s blessing.  Those words that discourage sinful behavior must seek to warn and persuade in no uncertain terms, for there is much at stake” (185).

Corporal discipline is the second biblical method within a parent’s disposal.  “Normally discipline should begin with verbal correction, and often that is enough.  But especially when children are younger, most parents will find it necessary on occasion, to couple verbal discipline with corporal discipline” (186).

Selvaggio points out two important differences between verbal and corporal discipline.  First, corporal discipline is always corrective.  Parents should apply corporal punishment only “in response to a specific instance of sin or foolishness” (186).  Corporal discipline is intended to prevent future sin, but it is only to be used in response to past sin (189).  Second, each instance of corporal discipline must be combined with verbal instruction “so that the child understands as clearly as possible why the corporal discipline is being applied” (186).

According to Proverbs, corporal discipline is reserved only for the obstinate. “Wisdom is found on the lips of the discerning, but a rod is found on the back of him who lacks judgment” (Proverbs 10:13).  “Children who will not receive verbal correction must receive a different, more direct, form of correction” (188).   For the obstinate, “the rod of correction imparts wisdom” (Proverbs 29:15), but the punishment must fit the crime.  As the apostle warns, “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4).  Parents must never discipline their children out of frustration and anger.  They should guard their hearts against desires to maintain their own righteousness or authority.  Rather, “corporal discipline should always be motivated  by love for the child and exercised in a spirit of self-control” (189).  God did not intend the rod for retribution or pure punishment but as a corrective and restorative measure.

God’s Discipline

When we consider how God the Father disciplines us, this highlights the restorative nature of parental discipline.  God disciplines us verbally.  “Hear, O my people, and I will warn you–if you would but listen to me, O Israel!” (Psalm 81:8).  And he disciplines his children corporally.  “My son, do not despise the LORD’s discipline and do not resent his rebuke, because the LORD disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in” (Proverbs 3:11-12).  God uses pain and suffering to correct and discipline us–to restore us and help us to grow.  God disciplines us corporally “because we are his children, and therefore he loves us like a father, extends mercy to us, and desires what is best for us–even when what is best is not what is most pleasant” (193).

ApParent Privilege. Steve Wright with Chris Graves.  Inquest Ministries: Wake Forest, NC.  175 pages.  $14.99.

Steve Wright, as a follow-up to his book on the new reality in youth ministry, ReThink, spoke directly to parents in his book, ApParent Privilege. Steve, pastor of student ministries at Providence Baptist Church in Raleigh, NC, along with his wife, Tina, have 3 teenagers under their roof.  In this book, they give practical and theological advice to other parents who are, with God’s help, trying to raise sons and daughters in the 21^st Century.  His premise is that the parents hold the biblical mandate to be the primary spiritual shapers (disciplers) of their own children.

From the outset, I would highly recommend (and or give) this book to everyone who is expecting a baby, has a baby, toddler, child, or teenager.  No matter what age, it is never to late to start training your children in the ways of God.  Over the past 2 ½ years, I’ve had the privilege of getting to know Steve and Tina, and know they practice what they preach.

This book is not all theory.  It is coveted truths from Scripture and practical wisdom from the heart of a dad who loves his children.  Two chapters in particular lay this foundation: “Chapter 5: A Parent’s Tasks: Foundations of Christian Parenting,” and “Chapter 7: A Parent’s Tools: Real Ideas to Make Discipleship Happen.”

“Your parenting affects more than your child’s here and now. It affects generations to come and their eternity” (94)

Dr. Randy Stinson, Dean of the School of Church Ministry at Southern Seminary in Louisville, KY, spoke on this topic at Re:Think, a conference held in May 2009 at Providence Baptist Church.  I remember him saying that we don’t parent and do ministry just for our children, but for our children’s children, and their children, and their children. Think future. Think eternity.

“If the cross of Christ is the center of history, then it must also be the center of our lives as well as the center of our communication with our children”  (54)

At Sojourn, one of the core values is the gospel.  The elders come back to the gospel at the end of every sermon.  This quote should resonate with every Christian parent’s heart.  This will not happen if we are left to ourselves, but we can pray that the Spirit would deepen our longing for the hearts of our children to know the saving power of the cross of Christ.  So often parents talk with their kids about all else excepting the gospel.  This book offers practical advice of how to work the gospel into conversations around the dinner table, the car rides, or special “dates” with your kids.

Maybe you just work with kids as a volunteer in a children’s ministry program, and you don’t have any children of your own (or maybe both apply to you).  I don’t have any children but I do like to work with children at church or in child care settings.  I love hearing them sing, their voices so cute (and you know there is always one who is waiving to the camera or not paying any attention at all).  This quote made me cry (and I was on a plane with others around me): “The responsibility to teach our children the incredible truths of God may seem overwhelming, but the Bride of Christ is there to help. She will teach you how to teach. She will train you how to train. You cannot do it alone.” (109)  We have a challenge ahead of us, to come alongside parents and be a source of encouragement for them, to help equip them, to love them and their children, and to point their children to Christ.

So, my advice: Go buy this book. If you are a parent, go get it. If you know someone having a baby – get it for them. Buy the youth pastor at your church this book. Tell him to read it. Just read it. Then live it and practice it. By God’s grace and for His glory. For eternity.

Kim Davidson is currently a Sojourn member who serves at Sojourn’s East Campus.

This article,  “The Myth of the Perfect Parent: Why the Best Parenting Techniques Don’t Produce Christian Children” by Leslie Leyland Fields, Christianity Today (January 8, 2010), is perhaps the most profound article on parenting that I’ve ever read.  It is straight-forward, convicting, and true.  I hope that every parent at Sojourn can read and re-read it.  Here is one of the best sections:

“Whether they listen or fail to listen … they will know that a prophet has been among them” (Ezekiel 2:5).

This was Ezekiel’s responsibility: to speak and embody God’s words before the people in such a way that they might know who he was, a righteous prophet of God, and that they might know who God was. Ezekiel wanted more than this, of course. He desperately wanted to turn the people back to the living God and prevent the impending and appalling judgment and death. The record does not tell us if anyone repented as a result of his words, but Ezekiel was never accountable for the repentance of others. He was accountable only for his steadfast obedience.

It is likely that we are asking the wrong questions as parents. We are so focused on ourselves—on our own need for success and the success of our children—that we have come to view parenting as a performance or a test. It appears we are failing the test, as large numbers of our youth leave the church when they leave our nests. And now genetic research tells us the test may even be rigged.

We cannot pass this test, I’m afraid, nor could we ever. If we are graded on a curve, we will always find parents and children who are more obedient, more joyful, and more peaceful than we are. We will find parents whose children turned out better than ours, parents with a higher percentage of “spiritual champions” than we can claim for our efforts.

If we are graded instead on an absolute scale—as I believe we are—we fail even more miserably. But this is why a Savior was provided, and gifted to us through grace, through faith—”and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast” (Eph. 2:8-9). If even our ability to believe in God is given to us by God, then how much of parenting can we perform on our own? We must proceed, then, on our knees first, beggars before the throne, if we are to parent well.

In the United States, distinguished by its extraordinary wealth, there are six million poor individuals known to few others but their own families.  They cannot vote.  They cannot work.  Most do not even go to school. They are America’s youngest poor–children under six (Statistic from Tim Keller, Ministries of Mercy, 6).

In the Louisville Metro area, almost 43% of households with children under the age of 5 without a dad at home fell below the poverty line in 2007 (U. S. Census Bureau, 2005-2007 American Community Survey).

In 2007, 23% of all homeless people were members of families with children (National Coalition for the Homeless Fact Sheet #12, June 2008).

Estimates of the number of homeless children range from 800,00 to 1.2 million, and in 1995, 4.2% of children under the age of one year were homeless (Urban Institute, 2000; Culhande & Metraux, 1999).

At least half of homeless children are under the age of 5 (National Center on Family Homelessness, 1999).

Homeless families are most commonly headed by single mothers in their late 20s with approximately two children (Rog & Buckner, 2007).

How will the church step in with Word and deed?

Nationally known author and speaker Dr. Russell Moore is coming to Sojourn East to discuss adoption on Wednesday, January 27 from 6:30pm to 8pm. During his presentation “Christ In An Orphan-Making Culture,” he will talk about our adoption as children of God, as well as God’s call upon the Christian community to adopt children in need of parents.Everyone from both Sojourn campuses may attend for free. Invite your friends as well.  We are providing childcare. RSVP at this link by Monday, January 25. Dr. Moore is the author of Adopted For Life: The Priority Of Adoption For Christian Families And Churches. He is also the Dean of the School of Theology and Senior Vice-President for Academic Administration at The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, and author of the popular Moore To The Point blog and podcast. For directions to Sojourn East, visit the East campus page here at http://sojournchurch.com.

Hey Sojourn Parents,

As most of you probably know, twice a month your children get together with kids from other classes and take part in a mini-service modeled after the Big Church, with songs and liturgy and prayer and all. The idea is to introduce the kids to a typical Sojourn worship service so they’re ready when they leave the Sojourn Kids program, and also to get them thinking about how good and glorious and beautiful and true God and His gospel are.

This month, the liturgy is centered on God’s grace towards us in Jesus. We’re singing five songs:  ”For By Grace” (A setting of Ephesians 2:8-9 in NASB by Mark Altrogge), “Amazing Grace” (the traditional hymn), “You Show Me Kindness” (from Sovereign Grace’s To Be Like Jesus cd), “Mighty Mighty Savior” (also from Sovereign Grace, Awesome God – Both of these cds are excellent resources if you don’t have them), and “God’s Love Goes On Forever” by our own Chandi Plummer.

I hope you’re able to connect with your kids as a family around these songs and truths. We want you to know what the kids are doing so they can keep hearing about Jesus and God’s grace in between Sojourn Kids services. I’m sure you’ll be encouraged and moved too as you consider what God has done for us and talk about it with your kids.

Here’s the actual liturgy we’ll be using with the kids this month:

This morning’s lesson is about God’s Amazing Grace! What is God’s grace? God’s grace is kindness and favor that you and I don’t deserve. Let’s repeat that again together: God’s grace is kindness and favor that you and I don’t deserve. Our first song is a Bible memory verse. So we are going to memorize a Bible verse by singing it. Some of you may remember it. The “address” is Ephesians 2:8 and 9.

Let’s say the verse together. Please repeat after me:

For by grace you have been saved through faith
and that not of yourselves
it is the gift of God
not as a result of works
that no one should boast
Ephesians 2:8 and 9

This verse is saying that we can be saved from God’s punishment by faith in Jesus. We cannot earn or work for God’s forgiveness– His forgiveness is a free gift to us when we trust in Him. And because it’s a free gift– we can’t brag about it– because we have done nothing to deserve it. Let’s sing this verse together.

I. “Ephesians 2:8-9,” words from NASB translation  © 1995 The Lockman Foundation. Music by Mark Altrogge on Hide the Word 1 © Forever Grateful Music.

Let’s pretend that you have been very mean to your brother. And your Daddy comes to you and says, “Because you have been mean to your brother, you have to sit in time-out. Plus, you can’t go to a Birthday party that has cake and presents for everybody.” You would feel sad, but you would deserve the punishment that your Dad has given you. Then, your brother, the one you were mean to, comes and says, “Daddy, I’ll sit in time-out and I’ll miss the birthday party so that he/she can go.” Now, your brother doesn’t deserve the punishment, but he is showing you GRACE. Grace is kindness and favor that you don’t deserve.

This story is not true. But Jesus is true. How much more amazing is God’s grace in Jesus! We have sinned against God and we deserve to be punished. Perfect Jesus who never did any thing wrong took our punishment for all of our sins when He died on the cross. That’s amazing grace! Let’s sing to God about His amazing grace!

2. “Amazing Grace,” words by John Newton, 1779. Music: NEW BRITAIN, in Virginia Harmony, by James P. Carrell and David S. Clayton, 1831.

Let’s learn another new song about God’s amazing grace, His undeserved kindness. This is a song called “You show me kindness.”

3. “You Show Me Kindness,” words and music by Peter Gagnon and Bob Kauflin ©2009 Sovereign Grace Worship (ASCAP)/Sovereign Grace Praise (BMI). Sovereign Grace Music, a division of Sovereign Grace Ministries. From To Be Like Jesus.

Jesus is a mighty, mighty Savior! He can save us from the punishment of our sins. Let’s sing to our mighty Savior!

4. “Mighty Mighty Savior,” words and music by Mark Altrogge. © Sovereign Grace Praise (BMI). Sovereign Grace Music, a division of Sovereign Grace Ministries. From Awesome God.

We are going to pray. Fold your hands and be still and talk to God. Let’s pray to God.

Jesus, your grace is amazing! You have not treated us as we deserve. You have not punished us like we should be punished. You took our consequences and punishment on the cross. Thank you! We want to believe in you and turn to you to forgive us for our sins. We want to love you more each day. Help us to forgive each other like you forgive us. Amen.

5. “God’s love goes on forever,” words and music by Chandi Plummer, © 2009 Chandi Plummer/Sojourn Music.

My friend Doug Wolter posted the following after the tragedy last week.  Doug is an example dad, and this post is full of wisdom:

Last night as I tucked my kids into bed, we prayed together for God to have mercy on the people in Haiti. One of my little girls gently asked, “Daddy, why is it called Haiti (HATE-E)?” It was an honest question. So I just spelled out the word for her and said it had nothing to do with the word “hate” that she knows is a word reserved for sin and evil. But I wish I would’ve said something similar to what Al Mohler said here … only summarized in kid’s language like I did below.

Girls, some people think that God sent the earthquake to Haiti because he hates Haiti. But God doesn’t hate Haiti. He loves Haiti. He loves the people in Haiti. He loves the mommies and the daddies and the little boys and little girls. Do you remember John 3:16? It says,”For God so loved the world (all the people in the world) that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life.”

God is a loving King. But He is also a holy king. He rules over all. And one day he will judge all the peoples of the world. He will punish all the people (from Haiti to Kentucky) who have sinned against him and not believed in his Son Jesus Christ. God doesn’t hate Haiti. But God hates sin. And one day He is coming to judge us for our sin. So the earthquake reminds us that we must turn from our sin and trust in Jesus. Jesus is our only hope as he died on a cross to take our punishment and give us eternal life.

Girls, God loves us and he loves the people in Haiti. So we need to pray. We need to pray for the people who got hurt and are sad and alone. We need to pray for the little kids that don’t have a mommy or daddy. And we need to pray most of all for the people in Haiti to hear about Jesus and the amazing love he showed them by dying for them on the cross. Remember John 3:16? Let’s say that verse together and pray for God to have mercy on the people in Haiti.

Also, read these two pieces at Sojourn’s Travelblog

• Relief for Haiti
• Relief for Haiti (Update)

Below are a few places where you can give:

1. G.O. Ministries
2. EDGE Outreach
3. Haiti Response Fund (through the IMB)
4. Haiti Earthquake Relief (through the NAMB)

John Piper’s latest sermon suggests “eight ways to help your children love those who are different from them.” Piper is primarily thinking here of racial harmony and disability differences, but this would apply to an even wider range of differences.

Go read or listen to or watch the sermon for the unpacking of each point, but here’s the outline:

1. Help the children believe in God’s sovereign wisdom and goodness in creating them with the body that they have.

2. Help the children believe in God’s sovereign wisdom and goodness in making other people with the body that they have.

3. Help the children believe that they and all other children and adults are made in God’s image.

4. Teach the children that God tells us to do to others as we would like others to do to us.

5. Teach the children and model for them that their own sin is uglier than anybody they think is physically unattractive.

6. Teach the children that God loves them in spite of the ugliness of their sin and that he proved this by sending his Son to die for our sins and give forgiveness to all who would trust him.

7. Teach the children that because Jesus died for them and rose again, he becomes for them an all-satisfying Friend and Treasure.

8. Teach the children to love others who are different from them, not in order to be accepted by God, but because they already are accepted by God because of Jesus.

via Justin Taylor.